In Montessori, we pay close attention to what children need. We observe them, adjust the environment and think about when to help and when to step back. We look at ourselves in the same way much less often. And yet adults, too, come into the classroom with different personalities, experiences, expectations and needs.
Madara Spurava, an English-speaking Montessori guide at Andílek, focuses on the relationships between adults in her talk. Speaking from experience, she explains that good cooperation is not built only on training or regular staff meetings. What matters most is whether we can talk to each other openly.
Before we start dealing with others
When a colleague’s behaviour annoys us, we usually know very quickly what they did wrong. It is much harder to name why the situation bothers us so much. Perhaps we felt that the other person did not listen to us, did not respect what we had agreed or overlooked something that matters to us.
This is where the path to better communication can begin. Not with the question of what the other person should change, but by first clarifying what we ourselves need. Only then can we talk about it clearly and without unnecessary reproach.
Staying silent is not always the way to peace
Trying to avoid conflict may at first look like the way to good relationships. But if we cannot talk about unpleasant things, they usually do not go away on their own. They tend to build up until they show as irritability, distance or a much bigger conflict.
Open communication does not have to be harsh or unpleasant. We can say that something does not suit us, that we need help or that we would like to do something differently, and still remain respectful towards the other person. What matters is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to resolve disagreements.
Relationships between adults are part of the environment
A prepared Montessori environment is not just materials, furniture and the layout of the classroom. It also includes the people who create it every day. If there is tension between adults, children often sense it, even if nobody argues in front of them. They equally notice when adults trust each other, help each other and can solve problems together.
Working on relationships within the team is therefore not an extra that comes last, once all the “more important” work is done. It is reflected directly in how children feel in the classroom.
A good team is not created by completing a course
Montessori training can give us a great deal of knowledge about child development, the prepared environment and the role of the guide. On its own, however, it does not guarantee that several adults will be able to work well together every day.
That is something we learn only in relationships. When we can ask for help, admit a mistake, listen to a different opinion or say in time that something does not suit us. And also when we accept that a good team is not one in which disagreement never arises, but one that can talk about it openly and calmly.
And perhaps this is how an adult in the classroom gives children one of the most important examples. They show them that respect does not always mean agreeing with everything, but being able to talk to each other, listen and find a way forward.
You can watch Madara Spurava’s full talk (in English) here:
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