Why Teenagers Are More Like Toddlers Than You’d Think: On Growth, Boundaries, and Trust

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7. 7. 2026

A toddler who absolutely must have a balloon in the store, and a teenager who, at that same moment, urgently needs more data on their phone. The object of their desire is different, but the intensity of the emotion can be surprisingly similar. Adolescence and toddlerhood actually have more in common than they might seem to at first glance. A new episode of the Hanky ve středu dění podcast looks at exactly these similarities between the years from birth to age three and the teenage years. Hanka Slabá and Hanka Trejklová explore the connections between these two life stages together. A small child is learning to walk, talk, and manage everyday tasks. A teenager is working through relationships, school, the future, and their own place in the world.

Both stages come with rapid development, intense emotions, and a growing need for independence. At the same time, a child is highly sensitive to how the adults around them communicate. Neither a toddler nor a teenager needs a perfect parent. What they need most is an adult who stays close, treats them with respect, and can set clear boundaries.

Adolescence and Toddlerhood as Times of Big Change

The first three years of life bring intense discovery. A child gets to know their own body, learns to move, communicate, and find their way around their environment. Along the way, they also build their first sense of independence.

The classic toddler “I do it myself” isn’t just defiance. A child needs to try out what they can already do without an adult’s help. A similar process happens during adolescence, just on a different level. A young person is looking for answers to who they are, what they care about, and where they belong. The toddler’s “I do it myself” gradually becomes the teenager’s “I’ll do it my way.” This shift can be hard for parents. A teenager questions the rules, changes their opinions, and wants more say over their own life. But that doesn’t mean they stop needing their parents. They still need a safe point they can return to.

Rapid Development Brings Both Fatigue and a Need for Movement

Rapid physical development is another thing that connects adolescence and toddlerhood. In a small child, we can watch the changes almost from one day to the next. In a teenager they’re not always as visible, but their body is still going through an intense period of change.

Growth, hormonal changes, and the demands of school can bring fatigue, fluctuating energy, and a greater need for sleep. A teenager who sleeps for a long time or struggles to get up in the morning isn’t necessarily just being lazy. Their body needs time to recover. Movement plays an important role too. A toddler needs to climb, run, carry things, and explore their surroundings. Teenagers can benefit from sport, time outdoors, working with their hands, or time in nature. Movement helps release tension and cope better with everyday pressure.

Strong Emotions Need a Calm Adult

A toddler having a tantrum often simply doesn’t yet have another way to express frustration, exhaustion, or a strong desire. A teenager has far more words available, but their emotions can be just as intense.

Instead of crying on the floor, it might show up as a sharp retort, a slammed door, or an unpleasant comment. In these moments, it helps not to treat every intense reaction as a personal attack. Underneath the behavior there may be an emotion or a situation the child doesn’t yet know how to handle. That doesn’t mean tolerating rudeness or giving up on boundaries. An adult can respond clearly, calmly, and with respect. Not every conflict needs to be resolved in the middle of the biggest emotional storm, either. Sometimes it helps to give everyone some space and come back to the situation later.

Independence Doesn’t Mean Leaving a Child on Their Own

Both toddlers and teenagers need to gradually gain more say over their own lives. For a small child, that might mean the chance to try something, make a mistake, and start again. A teenager is already making bigger decisions, and the consequences can be harder to deal with. But it’s exactly those firsthand experiences that help them learn responsibility. Supporting a child’s independence doesn’t mean a parent steps all the way back. A child still needs to know the adult is close by. Cooking together, a car ride, a walk, or ordinary chores can naturally create space for conversation.

What matters is keeping the door open. A child should know they can ask a question, admit a mistake, or say that something is too much for them.

What a Child’s Behavior Is Telling Us

A child’s behavior often tells us something about what they’re going through. A toddler’s tantrum might signal tiredness or overwhelm. A teenager’s sharp reaction might express frustration, insecurity, or a need for more independence. We don’t have to excuse every behavior. But it helps to think about what’s behind it. Is the child tired? Are they getting enough movement? Did they just experience a setback? Do they need more room to make their own decisions, or, on the contrary, more reassurance?

This is exactly where adolescence and toddlerhood meet again. In both stages, a child needs an adult who doesn’t just look at their behavior, but also tries to understand what they’re going through and what they actually need right now.

What Do Toddlers and Teenagers Need From Their Parents?

Even though these two stages are years apart, some needs stay remarkably similar. Children need safety, respect, room to be independent, and, at the same time, clear boundaries. They need an adult who can say no while still staying close. Someone who lets them grow, find their own way, make mistakes, and gradually take on responsibility. Calm, respect, trust, and clear boundaries don’t mean giving up on parental authority. On the contrary, they create the environment a child needs in order to grow and become independent, one step at a time.

You can listen to the full conversation between Hanka Slabá and Hanka Trejklová on the similarities between toddlerhood and adolescence on the Hanky ve středu dění podcast below.